For Lyvvie...

Click HERE

Go on... move to Melbourne... I dare ya....

heheehehheheheheh just kiddin...

My new song.

When I heard it I wanted to cry! I am learning to play it on the guitar, and the "you" she's talking about in the song (for me) is not any stupid boyfriend or anything like that, It made me immedeately think of my best friend Sean Canniff in Boston. I miss him so much. I have a feeling I will be seeing him soon!

Brandi Carlile
The Story

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do
I was made for you
You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what
I've been through like you do
And I was made for you...
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you



To hear the song click HERE

OH my! KATH & KIM ARE COMING TO THE USA!

I don't remember if I mentioned Kath & Kim while I was in Australia, but it is an absolutely hilarious Australian comedy show and now they have decided to make it over for the usa. Well, I hope they do a damn good job because the aussie version is flawless! So funny....

Here take a look

seriously... take the time to let it load and watch it. you are gonna pee in your pants.

Here's the deal... Kath is Kim's mom, she's getting married, this is her "hen's night" which is what aussies call bachelorette parties...

OH the OLYMPIAD!

Can I just tell yall how much I LOVE the Olympics??? I do! I watched the opening ceremonies the other day and I am telling ya, I shed a tear. And I can't tear myself away from it to watch anything else! I am watching diving now. I watched Phelps win the gold last night and I am gonna stay up and watch him tonight! I guess it's the whole patriotic thing. I can remember being so young and singing the olympics song and jumping off buckets and couches and pretending I was a gymnast. "TA DAAAAAAAA!" So I'm gonna get back to watching. Oh and today I got out a bit and went over to Carlos's place and played a little guitar, I almost gave him my guitar today but I figured I would wait till I leave. I told him I was leaving and he was kind of upset. He said "Maybe you will change your mind" ha ha then I made some bitchy comment and he said "You have a bad genius" I'm like WHAT? Carlos just moved here from Puerto Rico and some things are lost in translation, it's so fun to talk to him because he understands everything just has a hard time with some phrases in english. After I laughed for a minute or so, I said "You mean bad ATTITUDE I have a bad ATTITUDE!" Haha! He blushed and I laughed some more. Then he said "What happens to your stupid boyfriend?" HAHAHAA! I really cant get over this guy, hes hilarious! I said we broke up and he said "See? It's your genius. Your attitude." So Carlos in all his Puerto Rican clairvoyance has decided that it's my fault. He is wrong. Hahahah! My genius is just fine. Well today I got to go in the house with no windows, as in there is no glass or screens, it was amazing. It is the coolest house ever. Sadly they moved the old man up to Baltimore who lived there for 70 years so it just feels so empty. Amazing but empty. I would bet money that when he dies he will come back to that house. I know I would. Ok I am really going now!

Night Night!

My Australian Slideshow

With the Aussie band Faker as my musical choice! Enjoy!

Free MySpace slideshows, photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Slideshow time!

I just made a slideshow of my time in Savannah up till my time in the Bahamas. Take a look! I am working on others...


Savannah Ga to Bahamas, 2007

HOLY CRAP!

I FINALLY GOT MY VOICEMAIL SET UP ON MY CELL! I have had this phone for months... I have never set up my voicemail because whenever I call to try it my robot lady is speaking spanish! As hard as I try I can't understand her only when she says "regresar" or telefono numero diez digits. So I have been trying and trying and screaming ENGLISH!!! into the phone for months and then finally today, there was an english robot telling me to press 1 for english. Thank you Jesus! So I finally got a human on the phone but as always the girl was an idiot and when I got off the phone nothing was fixed. I called back and waited another 15 mins on hold but got a cute sounding guy and I have had a glass or two of wine so I was real sweet to him and wouldn't ya know it.... I HAVE VOICEMAIL AND THERE ARE NO MORE SPANISH SPEAKING LADIES ON MY PHONE!!!! I tell ya, wine will save the world. If I was wine-less I would have been all pissed off about the first lady and taken it out on the guy but hey, I am feelin warm and fuzzy so we got it all worked out. One love. So yall can call me! And leave me messages! And dont be mad if i dont answer the phone because i cant see who it is when you call so unless its a cingular customer it says Anonymous call and I dont answer those. so creepy. Leave a message!

Get up stand up.
Stand up for your voicemail rights!

AAAAAAAAAA!

WHY IS THAT PICTURE SO BIG?!??! I am trying to get it to shrink down... in the mean time, WATCH OUT! Don't let that big ole picture of me scare ya!

Decisions, decisions....

Summertime.... and the livin' is easy....

Well, kinda. I am trying to figure out what to do! Should I go ahead and take my Capt. License course here in STT or wait it out and take it in the spring? Should I work on a megayacht for the winter or stay here in STT and work on a snorkel boat? Is there such a thing as too much sea time? I have been totaling up my sea time...

I have approximately 1030 days at sea. You only need 720 days to get your 100 Ton Masters. So basically the last 300 days I have spent on the water I was "slacking off". Hmm.

I talked to my good friend Johnny O of Southie, Boston yesterday. He has been working on the water forever, we used to work on the Liberty together in Key West. He gave me hell about not having my license yet. Here is a picture of Johnny O. He is my Hero.


This is on the tall ship Corwith Cramer I believe. Johnny has been working for SEA, the Sea Education Association for a long time, they run 2 tall ships out of Woods Hole MA. He teaches college students about sailing and probably a little more about drinking. I love it.

But he is right! I should have my license!!! At this point it's slow season and I can't afford to take the course right now so I may just have to wait till spring. I was planning on moving home to Texas in the spring anyway and there are Captain's schools there in Houston and in Corpus Christy so I can always do that when I get home!

Just a little blurb.

When you live alone and you get creative with meals so you dont have to cook a meal every night, you find yourself buying food you never thought you would! Case in point, Hungry Jack instant mashed potatoes! I have tried the Roasted Garlic and Skins, and the Cheesey Mashed Potatoes and both are DELICIOUS!!! It's so easy, you just pour the mix in a bowl, add water and microwave! Flippin fabulous. It makes enough for like 3 helpings at least, probably 5 if you eat a normal amount of potatoes, but I am not normal. So, that's my 2 cents.

I also eat a lot of tuna fish sandwiches and Ramen noodles, maybe this is why I have heartburn. Who knows. Killian is on an "Alkali" diet, I asked him if he likes "AA" or "AAA" better? Yeah thats Alkaline. Anyway he is on the battery diet because he has such bad heart burn. Think I will look into that.

Ok. gotta finish cleaning my apt. I am throwing away clothes I never wear and stuff I don't need. Just in case I get a job and have to go.

Ugh.

I have had heartburn for 4 days, and this morning I had cramps so bad it woke me up at 5am and I couldn't even get out of bed till 9am. The cramps subsided for a few hours but now they are starting again. I used to have bad cramps like this when I was in high school but it's been years since I have had them like this. I really hope I can get rid of them and it doesn't happen tomorrow morning. I had to miss work and I need to work because I put in my 2 weeks notice. Ok thats all I can write.

Oh before I go, THANK YOU TO MY UNCLE MICHAEL AND AUNT DIANE FOR THE CARE PACKAGE!!!! I LOVE MY HAT. I never want to take it off! I wore it to see my friend Becca's band play last night and it was a huge hit. It drew alot of attention, not that I need any help. I had my hair all curled and pretty and I even wore lipstick. Josh was there and spoke in my general direction but I just pretended my hat was in the way of his voice and walked away. Hell hath no fury. Well the cramps are really kicking and Im going to lie down on the cold tile floor because thats the only thing that helps.

Love yall.

7:58pm.

Tomorrow, I will go back to work. Because I am a sucker. I have talked it over with friends who have been in the same position and they think I am an idiot. But at this point I just need cash. And I can't leave Clement with no crew to run on but a drunk lazy dude when he has a boat of 30 something people. I just don't have the heart. I am holding out for a yacht job. I think thats a good idea for the winter. Work hard and save up a bunch of money. Speaking of being walked on, I got a call from the dockmaster at the marina I wanted to work at. I thought for sure when i answered the phone he was calling because he wanted me to come work for him. Think again. He is calling to tell me that "you probably won't be interested because you are leaving and all but there is a charter boat looking for a chef/deckhand and I just wanted to put the word out. But you probably don't want to do that. Anyway I was wondering, because I have the day off tomorrow, if I could go out on your boat?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? No. No. No. He should have called and said "Hey I only told you about the job at the marina so you would sit next to me at the bar, what I really want with this call is to go for a free ride on your boat." Fock.

Anyway, I put my crew resume back online at my crew agencies and hopefully I will get some info back this week so I can make a decision. Here's what I'm thinking. I get a job on a mega yacht for 8 months, but I keep my apt. here in STT in case I don't like the job or whatever, I can afford to do that and that way I don't have to pack my apt up and whatnot. Also, my fam and friends can stay at my place if they decide to visit STT. Working on a yacht would also cut out some expenses like, happy hour, food, happy hour, need I say more?

I have to say, when I do finally leave my little casa for good, I will be filled with sadness. Sad for the times that will never be again. Sad because the happiness I felt there was only fleeting. Happy for all the same reasons. I wish I could bottle up all the happy and take it along. I suppose I can. If only in my head.

I think I will find the library on my next day off. I really miss the library. I used to check out so many books I couldn't finish them before the due date. I loved that. Now I sit in my room all day and exhaust myself trying to find things to entertain myself online. Today I actually played Sudoku for hours. I wanna read and be entertained by someone else's thoughts instead of my own. Mine can get boring.

I will not get up at 5am anymore. I will not go out of my way to make sure the boat is ready on time just because I want to. I will get to work at the alotted time. 7am. Which means I am not leaving my house any earlier than 6am. I am over the "above and beyond" I'm gonna do something I have never done before. Act like an average employee. One that doesn't give a shit about anything but doing my job and going home, one who doesn't care about anything but themselves. We'll see how that works. I fucking hate it already. I need a job where people appreciate when others go out of their way to make sure life runs smoothly. I am afraid the only way that will happen if I am my own boss. Maybe someday.

My brother called me last night. It was so nice to hear from him, if only for a min. He just wanted to tell me he was coming to visit. I said he better hurry up. I may be gone in a month. I really want him to see the islands.

Can I just say, the easy mac I am having for dinner really brings out the complex flavors of my Bombay Sapphire and grape juice. Stay classy yall.

I AM SICK AND TIRED!

SICK AND TIRED OF BEING WALKED ALL OVER! TIRED OF BEING PUNISHED FOR BEING A GOOD EMPLOYEE! TIRED OF BUSTING MY ASS AND NOT GETTING ANY COMPENSATION! This morning I finally took a stand. I can't believe I did it. I shouldn't feel bad about it but I do of course. Here's how it goes at work, I get there early and set up the whole boat because I have to do it by myself because my co-worker never shows up on time and if I got there at 7am like we are told to we would never get the boat ready in time for the guests. Ok so I set up the boat and usually my co-worker strolls in at about ten after seven and gets bags of ice for the day. Thats all he does. I do all the paper work for customs and immigration which takes a while and is just a pain in the ass. Then I spend all day chatting with the guests, telling my life story 15 times a day, then I lead the tour through the baths park and do all the talking and ushering. I bust ass. Then I put all the lunch stuff away and make up a snack tray for the afternoon, I don't know where my co-worker is when all this is going on, then he gets pissy when he has to hand out the snorkel gear "all by himself", well guess what?!?!?!?! I am tired of it! This morning he calls the captain and says he is not coming in to work because he stayed out all night drinking. So there are only 21 people booked so thats fine with me, I would rather work alone and make all the tips myself instead of him coming along hungover and watch him curl up in the snorkel gear cabinet and sleep it off the first half of the day. I already have all the people on the boat and he shows up!!! its 7:50. We leave at 8. I tell him to go home because he gets away with this shit all the time and I get the short end of the stick. The capt wants him on the boat. He is probably still drunk and I don't even want to see him, so the capt tells me i can just go home then. WELL OK! ITS BETTER THAN BEING WALKED ALL OVER LIKE I HAVE BEEN FOR 6 MONTHS!!! My capt and I talk on the dock for a bit, but I just can't shake my anger. I just know that the message I would be sending if I got back on the boat would have been "yep he got away with it again, we can always count on jolea, walk all over her and she will still work no matter what. " Im done being guilt tripped into this shit. No wonder they cant keep crew, no one likes to be trampled on. I can't believe I have taken it this long. He shouldn't get away with just showing up drunk whenever he wants. I wake up at 5am and ride on a safari for 45 mins every morning just to go to work. I do it. I don't go out drinking when I have to work in the morning because I am an ADULT! I may not have acted like an adult this morning but sometimes you have to do things you dont want to do to get your point across. If I get fired then so be it. I don't know where I will work but things always work out. I have faith in myself and the universe that everything will be ok. I hate being unhappy at work. I feel sick. I probably have an ulcer. I am constantly worried about a job that shouldn't be stressful. It should be fun and it's not. I feel sorry for my capt because now he has to deal with a drunk or hungover crew member all day. I have a headache now. I have so many good things in my life and so many blessings, i just wish my job was one of them. THIS IS A RANT AND I AM FULL AWARE OF THAT. The end.

While dodging bullets...

one has to remember that's exactly what she is doing. Sometimes you let yourself get caught up in the emotion of a certain situation instead of looking at it logically and realizing it's a blessing from above. Things end, and thats ok. Especially when they end with someone who is an alcoholic in a long line of alcoholics and non communicating men. Even though it may be sad for a few days, in the days that follow you will end up much happier with much more knowledge about ones-self than you went into the relationship with in the first place. Case in point, Moi. Josh is done. Over. As it has been since I first left him in December to go to Australia. I never put my finger on it till day before yesterday, but he said it plain as day, "You left first." Well there you have it. I guess he didn't see any fault in anything he did because clearly "I left him first." Oh well, I have always been a leaver. Ask around.
I finally get to work tomorrow after a few days of slow rainy weather. I feel great! It's shark week as some of you may know. And I have drifted to sleep every night this past week watching every man eating shark show you can think of, thus putting me into a sound sleep about sharks and shark attacks, thus making me terrified to go to work. I am especially horrified because I think I will be eaten by a Sand Tiger. Here he is.
I'm not kidding, that image has not been doctored! Thats a real thing that lives in the ocean that I have to get in every day.
So today I bought a bootleg DVD from the bootleg guy for five dollars. Sex and the City. Two things that I miss very much. (Sorry mom) Instead of dreaming of sharks I am going to drift off to one of the best movies I have seen in a long time. It makes me so happy. I just got done watching it and I couldn't be happier for myself, for the characters in the film, for my plans, for my life in general. My life has almost nothing to do with that movie but I really love all the characters in their own special way. I hate that Samantha broke up with Smith but that's beside the point. I am ready to be back in the real world. I am ready to be in charge of my own life. I want something more exciting than getting up at 5am to drag tourists through boulders and jellyfish to make a dollar. I need to be more important than I feel. I miss friends. I miss lunch dates. That's not the point.
The point is I have realized my goal again. I lost it for a week. I am here to save up a bunch of cash to get myself a head start in Austin. I really think I would rock at a public relations or marketing job. Can you just see it???? I can.
Also on a way different note... I want to spend New Years Eve in Boston with Sean. I have been running from winter for a long time and watching Sex and the City and the snow and how pretty New York was in the winter, I need to see Sean anyway. I wanna wear furry clothes and big boots, if only for a week.
I fell off for a week and I apologize to everyone involved. I love my life. I love being me. I may get a haircut and dye my hair this week while I'm at it.

LOOK OUT WORLD!

TWO PESOS IS BACK IN ACTION!

p.s. while I am at it, i have to mention the complete disregard for our feelings in the case of MANNY RAMIREZ getting traded to the fucking DODGERS!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? my redsox are falling apart. first Johnny Damon now Manny. I may have to watch the White Sox more often because at least I have Nick Swisher. And I love him.

Morning World!

Ah.... Nice sleep. I feel like heading to Yacht Haven to scope out jobs. I will stop at Badass Coffee for a frozen coffee and have a nice stroll around the marina. Maybe I will run into Meg or Killian, that would be nice. I'm swearing off the booze for a bit. The other night I did a number on myself and everyone around me I think. It's hard to realize if you act like an ass because everyone is acting crazy all the time so its hard to have something to compare to. Well I am busy opening an online bank account then I will head out. See yall this afternoon!

Morning

Just crazy.

Last night was interesting. I ran into Josh at Rum Shack. I was fine with that, but the more I drank the more I got that eternal girl problem of "wanting to talk about it". But before I could get into that Scott showed up and asked me to come over to watch a movie tonight and I said yes without thinking about it because I was just glad someone was paying attention to me. Then on my way to talk to Josh I ran into Toby who gave me his business card and told me he wanted to take me out to dinner. On top of that this guy Mike was there and tells me I missed out on a great dinner when I turned him down last week. I'm like are you kidding me??? By the time I get to the end of the bar to talk to Josh he barely says a word to me so I go back over to Scott who just plants a big kiss right on me and I am like oh no. Now Josh is mad and Scott wants to know whats going on with me and Josh and I just tell him it's complicated and so now Scott bows up like boys do and was like "hes lookin at me im gonna go over there are kick his ass" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH GUYS???? I calm him down and he leaves, I walk back over to Josh and he wont even look at me, says I should go back to making out with Scott. I swear, I can get myself in a pickle. So I end up crying and we talk about a few things and while I am wrapping things up with Josh my phone rings and It's a text from Matt, the cute drummer in Austin, says he wishes I was there. HOLY HELL. So I cancelled dinner with Scott, and locked myself in my room alone. Scott thinks it's because he got all crazy about Josh, I told him that I was sick. I lied. It was because he got real crazy real fast. I am starting to think it's best to just dream about the guy in Austin rather than actually come in contact with any guys on this island. I am going back to being a hermit.

Today. Jelly's were king.

I got stung by a jelly fish today. It swam right up in between my legs while I was being the jelly spotter for all my snorkelers when they were getting in the water. I was pissed. Literally. I didn't pee on myself to put the sting out but I poured some vinegar on it for sure. First jelly sting ever. I'm not even convinced it was a jelly sting. It was a moon jelly and it was head up like I didn't even touch me with its little flanges. The reason I don't really think it was a jelly, one, I have never been stung and I have been in the water with them like 50 times, two, I just shaved my legs and I think it could have been the salt water irritating my freshly shaven stems. :) Anyway, I came home and took a shower, got ready and wet over to Yacht Haven Grande to have dinner with Sarah. I stopped by the Rum Shack where Josh basically lives, and dropped off his stupid hat that he left at my house. I gave it to the concerned bartender who promised she would give it to him because she was sure she would see him soon. Drunk. I ran into Becca there and invited her to dinner, turns out Sarah couldn't make it and Becca and I had a lovely dinner at the bar and a few beers. Becca is from Richardson, TX, so we always have lots to talk about, it was fun and she drove me home just now. I am off work for the next 3 days, so me and Sarah are going to St John for late lunch and happy hour at Woody's. It' s 10pm, I am headed to sleep. I love yall!

I am ridiculous. My blog is ridiculous.

Today my capt. Jeff told people I have a website. Thank god no one asked what the addres was today. Today I worked with Sarah which I love. we made good money. Kilian was leaving the marina so he offered me a ride to town and I was down. So we get to the rum shack where we are meeting Meg, and of course Josh is there. I give him a kiss on the cheek. 45 mins later my quote un quote "boyfriend" has yet to speak to me. So I start taking the shots these random good looking boys are sending me. I finally get Josh alone and he says that he is leaving and going home blah blah blah which i am ok with . actually i am jealous that he is going home to visit his fam, but thats obviously not it, he keeps ignoring me to talk to some married couple who are taking him to get his luggage somewhere. At this point I have said I am over it, This is soooooooooo stupid .I have never been the kind of woman to stand by and let a man tell her what life is gonna be like. You better believe I am no starting now. I got a little lost because I thought I "loved" JoSh. People fall in love, they fall right back out. Guess what? I am a hard headed pain in the ass that is better off having someone on the side than having someone waiting at home. Thats the way it is, that is the way it always will be. "Crying over won't make it clean." I am telling myself that tonight because it's time to buck up and walk away. It's silly. I am going home. I'ts better to just cut this off now while I am mad then to let it linger. I do care about him but what good it that when he can let me stand in a parking lot an cry all the while he is checking the tire pressure on another car and calling someone to pick him up. I cant be someone who is ignored, (i apologie ahead of time for this) FOR FUCKS SAKE NO ONE HAS EVER IGNORED ME FOR ANY REASON EVER@!!@! I feel like I see so clear now. It's done. I give yall full permission to scold and disown me if I ever speak of Josh again. FUCK I AM ANGRY AT MYSELF. I love all of you and I apologize again for embarrassing my mom and family with this post. Maria back me up on this. Sometimes you just gotta vent. Thank god for Killian and Meg. They drove me home and tole me to forget about him . I am going to try. My family and friends are way more important than having someone in my bed every night. Besides, i like to sprawl out and he was in my way. THERE.