Saturday, August 2, 2008

While dodging bullets...

one has to remember that's exactly what she is doing. Sometimes you let yourself get caught up in the emotion of a certain situation instead of looking at it logically and realizing it's a blessing from above. Things end, and thats ok. Especially when they end with someone who is an alcoholic in a long line of alcoholics and non communicating men. Even though it may be sad for a few days, in the days that follow you will end up much happier with much more knowledge about ones-self than you went into the relationship with in the first place. Case in point, Moi. Josh is done. Over. As it has been since I first left him in December to go to Australia. I never put my finger on it till day before yesterday, but he said it plain as day, "You left first." Well there you have it. I guess he didn't see any fault in anything he did because clearly "I left him first." Oh well, I have always been a leaver. Ask around.
I finally get to work tomorrow after a few days of slow rainy weather. I feel great! It's shark week as some of you may know. And I have drifted to sleep every night this past week watching every man eating shark show you can think of, thus putting me into a sound sleep about sharks and shark attacks, thus making me terrified to go to work. I am especially horrified because I think I will be eaten by a Sand Tiger. Here he is.
I'm not kidding, that image has not been doctored! Thats a real thing that lives in the ocean that I have to get in every day.
So today I bought a bootleg DVD from the bootleg guy for five dollars. Sex and the City. Two things that I miss very much. (Sorry mom) Instead of dreaming of sharks I am going to drift off to one of the best movies I have seen in a long time. It makes me so happy. I just got done watching it and I couldn't be happier for myself, for the characters in the film, for my plans, for my life in general. My life has almost nothing to do with that movie but I really love all the characters in their own special way. I hate that Samantha broke up with Smith but that's beside the point. I am ready to be back in the real world. I am ready to be in charge of my own life. I want something more exciting than getting up at 5am to drag tourists through boulders and jellyfish to make a dollar. I need to be more important than I feel. I miss friends. I miss lunch dates. That's not the point.
The point is I have realized my goal again. I lost it for a week. I am here to save up a bunch of cash to get myself a head start in Austin. I really think I would rock at a public relations or marketing job. Can you just see it???? I can.
Also on a way different note... I want to spend New Years Eve in Boston with Sean. I have been running from winter for a long time and watching Sex and the City and the snow and how pretty New York was in the winter, I need to see Sean anyway. I wanna wear furry clothes and big boots, if only for a week.
I fell off for a week and I apologize to everyone involved. I love my life. I love being me. I may get a haircut and dye my hair this week while I'm at it.



p.s. while I am at it, i have to mention the complete disregard for our feelings in the case of MANNY RAMIREZ getting traded to the fucking DODGERS!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? my redsox are falling apart. first Johnny Damon now Manny. I may have to watch the White Sox more often because at least I have Nick Swisher. And I love him.