Friday, January 30, 2009


I just realized after really taking a close close look at my front teeth that the only thing that saved my front teeth from being broken off at the half way point was the wire my Orthodontist cemented to the back of my front teeth when I got my braces off in High School. I think the cement and the wire held my teeth together because I can see cracks in my left front tooth. Now I don't know what to do. I guess I will just keep my fingers crossed that the cement holds em together till I can afford insurance to go to the dentist. What a fucking bummer. What a fucking idiot. I have never felt so stupid. Also I think I may have a deviated septum. Lilly is gonna have to feel it when she gets here because she has one too. Oh for fucks sake. I have laid off the drinking, deciding to stick with beer instead of the vodka that I am sure had something to do with the incident. Still having a lovely time but the busted face really rocked me mentally. I stayed in my house for days just sick at myself. I compare it to the time my best friend in college, Kassidy, flipped her car on the highway while drunk, with another person in the car, into oncoming traffic, at 3 am, and they both walked away unharmed. We told her that was her wake up call. To lay off the booze. What happened a year later? She rolled her new car on the road by her house while wasted, this time she wasn't so lucky. The car came to a sliding stop on the driver's side with her arm pinned between the door and the pavement. She nearly lost her arm and had to have skin grafts and reconstructive surgery to put it back together. She had to re-learn how to use her hand and she was a guitar player.
I have just been so mad at myself.
Hanging out with Evan has been a big help. He is a big drinker so I end up kinda watching out for him instead of trying to keep up which I used to do. I can drink beer with the big boys and I have never had a problem maintaining, I know it was the liquor that did me in, but I am still wary of it all. I like to go out and be involved in all the fun but now I try to just drink about half of what I usually do.
I guess I am just saying that I am so much more aware now that I have busted my face.
That's a good thing.
I don't need any smug remarks about dangerous drinking habits. I just needed to vent. You can comment and all but you know what I mean... I don't need any negativity.

OH MY GOSH! On a funny note, I am watching David Letterman and Renee Zellweger is on and she is absolutely TANKED!!!! She is hammered!
I hope she doesn't fall on her face.