Sunday, February 1, 2009

Horrifying.

Yesterday was a tough day.

Lilly came home which was awesome, we went to the middle school that she went to growing up to say hi to her Dad who was helping with the pig roast fundraiser they were putting on. Then he went home and we decided to stop by Chris' house to say hi. We hung out for a bit then Lilly suggested we stop by her house to pick up her mom's bike for me to ride instead of her pumping me around town on her's all day. So we rode down her street and at the intersection right before hers I noticed some cop cars and people standing around outside on the side street but we thought nothing of it. We pulled up in the driveway and went into the house. We saw her parents outside in the back yard both looking at something so Lilly said "shhhh I bet it's an iguana." so we crept up behind them being really quiet as to not scare the iguana, then we realized they werent looking at the ground. They were looking through the trees that seperate their back yard from the caddy corner neighbor's yard. Before they could even say anything to us our eyes locked on what they were looking at.

I have never been so horrified in my life. Before my eyes could even tell my brain what was going on we were looking at a man. A man hanging by the neck from the support beams of the patio of the neighbor's house. I am shaking just typing this. I have never seen anything like that before in my life. Lilly said I must have kinda gone into shock because when I saw it i just kept repeating "what happened what happened what was that what what what" and I don't remember saying that. Her mom just hugged me and and Lilly walked into the kitchen, opened the liquor cabinet and poured us two big rum and cokes. All day yesterday we were just drinking to try and forget what we had seen. Thank god he wasnt facing us because the visual of that would have really really ruined me. I hate to be grafic and visual with you but the thing that really got me was his movement. He was swinging in the breeze. OH god i am so sorry for sharing this story but I had to. It was just the worst thing I have ever seen. He looked like a young, clean cut man. What in his life turned so bad that he decided to end it? I can't imagine ever feeling that way. Lilly and I were telling everyone we saw how wonderful our lives are and getting all mental with folks. It's just a shame. I am really freaked out and I can't get that picture out of my head.

Sorry I had to share.

16 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. No one should ever have to see something like this. I hate that you all did. If you continue to be upset by it, perhaps you should have a good cry and grieve for this poor man. Just hope that he's happy now where ever he is.

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  3. I'm so sorry.
    I agree with your mom and Overboard.

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  4. Find something to do to keep busy and keep your mind off of it. I'm sorry that you saw something like that. Your mom is right he is in a nice place now.

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  5. Suicide is a very selfish act. It hurts a lot more than just the person that commits it.

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  6. Jolea I'm so very sorry you had to see that! I sure wish you didn't have too.

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  7. Suicide is the most selfish thing in the world. He had no right to allow anyone else to see that. Hopefully those images will go away shortly...

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  8. Got the scoop on who it was. It was the man that owned the house and apparently he had recently lost a lot of money in the stock market and was going to lose the house anyway. His wife found him that way and that's the screaming Lilly's parent's heard that made them come outside and look. Horrible. I can't sleep. I need to and I can't. I am all alone in the house and I just keep thinking about it. What a time for Mr. Evan to be out of town. At least he would come cuddle with me if I asked. Maybe.

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  9. I was thinking it was probably based on money. History is repeating itself... we'll probably hear of more of these instances. For that woman's sake, I sure hope she wasn't nagging him beforehand.

    Try to think of good thoughts and get past it, and if everything happens for a reason, what is the reason for you to see this? What good can come from it?

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  10. Oh god. You poor thing.

    Give yourself time. We're incredibly lucky here in this country - we're mostly protected from ugly deaths. That's why it's such an incredible shock when you stumble across something like what you saw.

    I've seen some things I wish I hadn't had to. My experience has been that I don't ever quite forget them, and I'm glad, because forgetting them would mean that those people didn't matter to me & that would be a little inhuman of me.

    Remembering them says that even the ones I didn't know matter.

    But they have faded, the sharpest edges have been smoothed. Over time, those memories have become less overwhelming, less given to popping up unbidden, & less painful when I am reminded of them.

    He must have been fighting depression & lost. So sad, the way that disease just robs a person of all perspective, sends them down into a hole that they can't see out of.

    Ugh.

    Hope the worst of the shock wears off soon for you.

    Getting out in boats always helped me refocus when I was still caught up.

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  11. ps hope that wasn't too whatever. It's just I have been where you are at right now. Just took time.

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  12. That is just so awful, your mum as always is right on the button. take care

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  13. So sorry to hear about the poor man and your experiences.

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  14. I've just tagged you with a post a photo game courtesy of Bonnie which I hope will distract you with good rather than bad memories.

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  15. Thanks everybody! I'm getting better, still having trouble sleeping but that might have something to do with stress too.

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